Growing up in China, I was surrounded by materialism from the very beginning of my education. Materialism changed me so much, I believed I could solve the problems in life and get whatever I wanted through my hard work and intelligence alone. At that time, I did not trust God, and believed His existence was just the imagination of weak people.
I was searching for success and meaning in people. I was satisfied with myself when I received praise and respect from colleagues, friends, and relatives. I poured my heart into attaining personal value. This was just acceptance from the world and did not give me personal value.
I lost myself in the world and felt anxiety, always worried and depressed when I failed. One day, I felt so tired I did not want to go any farther, and I no longer wanted to live in people’s image. Something was missing in my life.
Early in 2014, I came to Houston. One day, my friend invited me to American-Chinese Fellowship (ACF). As soon as we arrived for the church service, I was shocked by the slogan “keep your heart quiet and get close to God”. From that moment, I knew that what I lost was my heart, and my heart would still be empty even if I succeeded because of my sin. I acknowledged that God sent Jesus to die on the cross so I could be reconciled with Him. I now enjoy His love, joy, and spiritual blessings.
I am now living for God. I am not perfect, but I trust God. Where I was exhausted chasing the things of this world, I know He is with me.